Cínta adalah semangat hídup, tapí terkadang pula cínta tídak memberíkan artí tapí memberíkan luka. Penyakítku semakín parah, Membuat hídup terasa sebentar.
Cínta adalah semangatku tanpanya aku sepertí hídup dalam kegelapan. Esok harí aku melíhat día begítu menawan, hídungnya yang anggun serasa aku mulaí tak berkedíp hanya butuh waktu untuk dekat denganya.
Darí detík ítulah aku mulaí berjuang demí apa yang aku íngínkan yaítu cínta yang begítu aku kagumí, perjuangan untuk mendapatkannya begítu panjang. Lelah aku menantínya cínta yang sama sekalí kadang tídak jelas. Kesabaran yang aku mílíkí ítulah kuncínya. Waktu terus berjalan sampaí akhírnya cínta yang aku harpkan menjadí kenyataan setelah sekían berbulan-bulan, namun belum cukup sampaí dísítu. Aku berfíkír? Apakah ía kekasíhku atau bukan ntah aku tídak mengertí. Ketíka aku menyatakan perasaanku tídak pernah díbalas olehnya. Dan ketíka aku díam día berkata sayang. Díam hanya bísa membuatku terluka dan bícara padanya membuatku tau ísí hatínya. Namun ucapanku percuma tídak satupun díbalas olehnya.
Harus ku jalaní cínta íní tanpa ada hubungan entah día kekasíhku atau bukan panggílan sayang terdengar darí telínga, Dan terlíhat oleh mata. Waktu masíh berlanjut begítu índah aku rasakan meskí terkadang pertengakaran dan pertíkaían menghadapí hanya satu yaítu jangan pernah egoís yang bísa menyelesaíkannya.
Namun suatu ketíka cínta yang aku percaya untuk salíng menjaga perasaan telah mengecewakanku, día sempat díam-díam mempermaínkan perasaan díbelakangku, ntah mengapa ía lakukan semua ítu. Aku sayang día, begítu sayangnya sama día sampaí aku harus overprotektíf harus pula selalu memberíkan nasehat.
Terkadang ketíka aku kecewa hatíku terluka bíbírku mengucap kata PUTUS namun ítu cuma ucapan, padahal díhatíku tak satupun dan tak pernah ada keíngínan sepertí ítu. Mungkín aku hanya kecewa dan tersakítí dan día tídak pernah merasakan terlukanya hatíku.
Harí bergantí harí masalah aku selesaíkan dengan penuh kesabaran sampaí akhírnya día marah dan terus marah tídak mau mengakuí kesalahanya. Dan akupun masíh tetap sabar, kesabaran membuahkan hasíl perpísahan kembalí menyatu. Ceríta yang tlah aku uraí ceríta yang tlah kíta buat bersama dísítulah masíng masíng darí kíta akan mengenangnya. Mengenang semua ceríta bahagía dan aír mata. Dan kíní kíta mulaí membuka lembaran baru. Aku berharap dí awal ceríta akan bahagía sampaí buku yang kíta buat terus bahagía sampaí akhírnya tetap bersama.
Namun semua ítu percuma satu bulan membuka lembaran baru berbagaí alasan mulaí terucap, aku merasakannya terlalu aneh. Sakít rasanya seseorang yang begítu aku cíntaí terus menyakítíku, kepalaku mulaí sakít darah segar keluar lancar dí hídungku dísaat aku memíkírkannya dan merasakan luka darínya. Ntah aku tak tau tangan bersíh tak sengaja aku usapkan ke hídung darah mengkotorí telapak tanganku, aku semakín sakít ketíka dítambah darah yang mengalír dí otak tersumbat. Día begítu tídak tau apa yang saat ítu aku rasakan, día tídak akan pernah sadar sedíkítpun. Aku cuma berkeíngínan día yang selalu Memberíkanku semangat, memeberíkanku artí hídup meskí harus mencíntaímu sekejap ataukan hídupku masíh panjang aku akan terus menjagamu dan terus mencíntaímu. Tapí día cuma memíkírkan perasaannya demí orang yang ía íngínkan...baca selanjut nya klik di sini
by yandre pramana putra
NOVEL CINTA
Late in April, after Native American actors walked off in disgust from the set of Adam Sandler’s latest film, a western sendup that its distributor, Netflix, has defended as being equally offensive to all, a glow of pride spread through several Native American communities.
Tantoo Cardinal, a Canadian indigenous actress who played Black Shawl in “Dances With Wolves,” recalled thinking to herself, “It’s come.” Larry Sellers, who starred as Cloud Dancing in the 1990s television show “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,” thought, “It’s about time.” Jesse Wente, who is Ojibwe and directs film programming at the TIFF Bell Lightbox in Toronto, found himself encouraged and surprised. There are so few film roles for indigenous actors, he said, that walking off the set of a major production showed real mettle.
But what didn’t surprise Mr. Wente was the content of the script. According to the actors who walked off the set, the film, titled “The Ridiculous Six,” included a Native American woman who passes out and is revived after white men douse her with alcohol, and another woman squatting to urinate while lighting a peace pipe. “There’s enough history at this point to have set some expectations around these sort of Hollywood depictions,” Mr. Wente said.
The walkout prompted a rhetorical “What do you expect from an Adam Sandler film?,” and a Netflix spokesman said that in the movie, blacks, Mexicans and whites were lampooned as well. But Native American actors and critics said a broader issue was at stake. While mainstream portrayals of native peoples have, Mr. Wente said, become “incrementally better” over the decades, he and others say, they remain far from accurate and reflect a lack of opportunities for Native American performers. What’s more, as Native Americans hunger for representation on screen, critics say the absence of three-dimensional portrayals has very real off-screen consequences.
“Our people are still healing from historical trauma,” said Loren Anthony, one of the actors who walked out. “Our youth are still trying to figure out who they are, where they fit in this society. Kids are killing themselves. They’re not proud of who they are.” They also don’t, he added, see themselves on prime time television or the big screen. Netflix noted while about five people walked off the “The Ridiculous Six” set, 100 or so Native American actors and extras stayed.
But in interviews, nearly a dozen Native American actors and film industry experts said that Mr. Sandler’s humor perpetuated decades-old negative stereotypes. Mr. Anthony said such depictions helped feed the despondency many Native Americans feel, with deadly results: Native Americans have the highest suicide rate out of all the country’s ethnicities.
The on-screen problem is twofold, Mr. Anthony and others said: There’s a paucity of roles for Native Americans — according to the Screen Actors Guild in 2008 they accounted for 0.3 percent of all on-screen parts (those figures have yet to be updated), compared to about 2 percent of the general population — and Native American actors are often perceived in a narrow way.
In his Peabody Award-winning documentary “Reel Injun,” the Cree filmmaker Neil Diamond explored Hollywood depictions of Native Americans over the years, and found they fell into a few stereotypical categories: the Noble Savage, the Drunk Indian, the Mystic, the Indian Princess, the backward tribal people futilely fighting John Wayne and manifest destiny. While the 1990 film “Dances With Wolves” won praise for depicting Native Americans as fully fleshed out human beings, not all indigenous people embraced it. It was still told, critics said, from the colonialists’ point of view. In an interview, John Trudell, a Santee Sioux writer, actor (“Thunderheart”) and the former chairman of the American Indian Movement, described the film as “a story of two white people.”
“God bless ‘Dances with Wolves,’ ” Michael Horse, who played Deputy Hawk in “Twin Peaks,” said sarcastically. “Even ‘Avatar.’ Someone’s got to come save the tribal people.”
Dan Spilo, a partner at Industry Entertainment who represents Adam Beach, one of today’s most prominent Native American actors, said while typecasting dogs many minorities, it is especially intractable when it comes to Native Americans. Casting directors, he said, rarely cast them as police officers, doctors or lawyers. “There’s the belief that the Native American character should be on reservations or riding a horse,” he said.
“We don’t see ourselves,” Mr. Horse said. “We’re still an antiquated culture to them, and to the rest of the world.”
Ms. Cardinal said she was once turned down for the role of the wife of a child-abusing cop because the filmmakers felt that casting her would somehow be “too political.”
Another sore point is the long run of white actors playing American Indians, among them Burt Lancaster, Rock Hudson, Audrey Hepburn and, more recently, Johnny Depp, whose depiction of Tonto in the 2013 film “Lone Ranger,” was viewed as racist by detractors. There are, of course, exceptions. The former A&E series “Longmire,” which, as it happens, will now be on Netflix, was roundly praised for its depiction of life on a Northern Cheyenne reservation, with Lou Diamond Phillips, who is of Cherokee descent, playing a Northern Cheyenne man.
Others also point to the success of Mr. Beach, who played a Mohawk detective in “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” and landed a starring role in the forthcoming D C Comics picture “Suicide Squad.” Mr. Beach said he had come across insulting scripts backed by people who don’t see anything wrong with them.
“I’d rather starve than do something that is offensive to my ancestral roots,” Mr. Beach said. “But I think there will always be attempts to drawn on the weakness of native people’s struggles. The savage Indian will always be the savage Indian. The white man will always be smarter and more cunning. The cavalry will always win.”
The solution, Mr. Wente, Mr. Trudell and others said, lies in getting more stories written by and starring Native Americans. But Mr. Wente noted that while independent indigenous film has blossomed in the last two decades, mainstream depictions have yet to catch up. “You have to stop expecting for Hollywood to correct it, because there seems to be no ability or desire to correct it,” Mr. Wente said.
There have been calls to boycott Netflix but, writing for Indian Country Today Media Network, which first broke news of the walk off, the filmmaker Brian Young noted that the distributor also offered a number of films by or about Native Americans.
The furor around “The Ridiculous Six” may drive more people to see it. Then one of the questions that Mr. Trudell, echoing others, had about the film will be answered: “Who the hell laughs at this stuff?”
Native American Actors Work to Overcome a Long-Documented Bias