Jadwal Biaya Umroh bulan April

Saci- Indonesia.com - "Kita harus mengakui, anak selalu berupaya keras mendorong diri mereka dan bekerja keras untuk mencapai tujuan," kata Paul Donahue, PhD, penulis buku Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters. Jadi, "Satu hal yang perlu diingat adalah proses, bukan produk akhir."

Anak Anda mungkin bukan pemain basket terbaik di timnya. Namun jika Anda melihat ia berlatih setiap hari dan berjuang untuk bisa menjadi yang terbaik, Anda harus memuji usahanya itu, terlepas dari apakah timnya menang atau kalah.

Memuji usaha anak, bukan hasilnya, juga bisa berarti mengakui anak telah bekerja keras. Misalnya saja saat ia membersihkan halaman, memasak makan malam, atau menyelesaikan tugas pelajaran sejarahnya. Apa pun skenarionya, pujian harus diberikan berdasarkan kasus per kasus dan proporsional.

Berikut ini beberapa contoh nyata dari para ahli yang menunjukkan pujian atas prestasi anak:

* Jika anak gagal memukul bola (strike) beberapa kali selama pertandingan (softball), tapi kemudian ia berhasil menangkap bola saat permainan berlangsung, ia layak menerima pujian. Anda harus memuji ketahanan dan usahanya mendorong diri untuk mampu melalui keadaan sulit.

* Jika anak tidak begitu baik dalam pelajaran matematika, Anda bisa menyarankannya untuk terus berlatih, bukan malah memaksanya belajar matematika sambil memarahinya setiap malam. Berikan pujian pada anak ketika ia melakukan hal lain yang luar biasa.

* Putri Anda berhasil menaiki sepeda roda dua setelah ia berlatih berminggu-minggu. Berikan pujian karena ia mampu bertahan dalam latihan.

* Ketika anak berhasil melompat jauh saat sedang bermain, puji dia. Tapi jangan berlebihan karena usahanya itu hanyalah sebatas untuk bersenang-senang.

Jika anak tidak melakukan upaya khusus, jangan memujinya berlebihan atau Anda bisa tidak memujinya sama sekali. Para ahli juga menyarankan agar para orangtua tidak memuji anak dengan memberikan uang tunai.

"Saya percaya setiap orangtua memuji adalah untuk memotivasi anaknya," kata Donahue. "Jika Anda mengatakan kepada anak akan memberikannya uang jika ia mendapatkan nilai A di pelajaran matematika, anak akan melakukannya atas dasar motivasi uang, bukan karena positif ingin berhasil."

Berbeda dengan uang, Anda bisa merayakan kerja keras dan prestasi anak dengan melakukan kegiatan yang mereka sukai. Misalnya, “Pergi makan es krim atau atau menonton pertunjukan musik," kata Donahue.

Editor :Liwon Maulana
"Larangan" Saat Memuji Anak

BALTIMORE — In the afternoons, the streets of Locust Point are clean and nearly silent. In front of the rowhouses, potted plants rest next to steps of brick or concrete. There is a shopping center nearby with restaurants, and a grocery store filled with fresh foods.

And the National Guard and the police are largely absent. So, too, residents say, are worries about what happened a few miles away on April 27 when, in a space of hours, parts of this city became riot zones.

“They’re not our reality,” Ashley Fowler, 30, said on Monday at the restaurant where she works. “They’re not what we’re living right now. We live in, not to be racist, white America.”

As Baltimore considers its way forward after the violent unrest brought by the death of Freddie Gray, a 25-year-old black man who died of injuries he suffered while in police custody, residents in its predominantly white neighborhoods acknowledge that they are sometimes struggling to understand what beyond Mr. Gray’s death spurred the turmoil here. For many, the poverty and troubled schools of gritty West Baltimore are distant troubles, glimpsed only when they pass through the area on their way somewhere else.

Officers blocked traffic at Pennsylvania and West North Avenues after reports that a gun was discharged in the area. Credit Drew Angerer for The New York Times

And so neighborhoods of Baltimore are facing altogether different reckonings after Mr. Gray’s death. In mostly black communities like Sandtown-Winchester, where some of the most destructive rioting played out last week, residents are hoping businesses will reopen and that the police will change their strategies. But in mostly white areas like Canton and Locust Point, some residents wonder what role, if any, they should play in reimagining stretches of Baltimore where they do not live.

“Most of the people are kind of at a loss as to what they’re supposed to do,” said Dr. Richard Lamb, a dentist who has practiced in the same Locust Point office for nearly 39 years. “I listen to the news reports. I listen to the clergymen. I listen to the facts of the rampant unemployment and the lack of opportunities in the area. Listen, I pay my taxes. Exactly what can I do?”

And in Canton, where the restaurants have clever names like Nacho Mama’s and Holy Crepe Bakery and Café, Sara Bahr said solutions seemed out of reach for a proudly liberal city.

“I can only imagine how frustrated they must be,” said Ms. Bahr, 36, a nurse who was out with her 3-year-old daughter, Sally. “I just wish I knew how to solve poverty. I don’t know what to do to make it better.”

The day of unrest and the overwhelmingly peaceful demonstrations that followed led to hundreds of arrests, often for violations of the curfew imposed on the city for five consecutive nights while National Guard soldiers patrolled the streets. Although there were isolated instances of trouble in Canton, the neighborhood association said on its website, many parts of southeast Baltimore were physically untouched by the tumult.

Tensions in the city bubbled anew on Monday after reports that the police had wounded a black man in Northwest Baltimore. The authorities denied those reports and sent officers to talk with the crowds that gathered while other officers clutching shields blocked traffic at Pennsylvania and West North Avenues.

Lt. Col. Melvin Russell, a community police officer, said officers had stopped a man suspected of carrying a handgun and that “one of those rounds was spent.”

Colonel Russell said officers had not opened fire, “so we couldn’t have shot him.”

Lambi Vasilakopoulos, right, who runs a casual restaurant in Canton, said he was incensed by last week's looting and predicted tensions would worsen. Credit Drew Angerer for The New York Times

The colonel said the man had not been injured but was taken to a hospital as a precaution. Nearby, many people stood in disbelief, despite the efforts by the authorities to quash reports they described as “unfounded.”

Monday’s episode was a brief moment in a larger drama that has yielded anger and confusion. Although many people said they were familiar with accounts of the police harassing or intimidating residents, many in Canton and Locust Point said they had never experienced it themselves. When they watched the unrest, which many protesters said was fueled by feelings that they lived only on Baltimore’s margins, even those like Ms. Bahr who were pained by what they saw said they could scarcely comprehend the emotions associated with it.

But others, like Lambi Vasilakopoulos, who runs a casual restaurant in Canton, said they were incensed by what unfolded last week.

“What happened wasn’t called for. Protests are one thing; looting is another thing,” he said, adding, “We’re very frustrated because we’re the ones who are going to pay for this.”

There were pockets of optimism, though, that Baltimore would enter a period of reconciliation.

“I’m just hoping for peace,” Natalie Boies, 53, said in front of the Locust Point home where she has lived for 50 years. “Learn to love each other; be patient with each other; find justice; and care.”

A skeptical Mr. Vasilakopoulos predicted tensions would worsen.

“It cannot be fixed,” he said. “It’s going to get worse. Why? Because people don’t obey the laws. They don’t want to obey them.”

But there were few fears that the violence that plagued West Baltimore last week would play out on these relaxed streets. The authorities, Ms. Fowler said, would make sure of that.

“They kept us safe here,” she said. “I didn’t feel uncomfortable when I was in my house three blocks away from here. I knew I was going to be O.K. because I knew they weren’t going to let anyone come and loot our properties or our businesses or burn our cars.”

Baltimore Residents Away From Turmoil Consider Their Role

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